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Written by Johanus Haidner
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The Difficulty in Revealing the Truth of One’s Inner Self
What face do most people reveal to the world? Shakespeare once said that all of the world’s a stage. And this has been shown to be true, as we are each actors with a thousand faces. Every relationship we have, each friendship, each acquaintance, each passing stranger, allows us to show a different facet of who we are. And with each person we are someone slightly different.
What face does one show to professional colleagues? Always there is a distance there, a certain amount of stoic professionalism. And this distance protects against… what? It seems that in professional situations people are very distant; no-one wants to reveal the inner parts of themselves. True emotions are forbidden, real passion reveals too much. And so there are barriers. And the act will continue for all time.
When we are first in relationships with potential romantic partners we also hold back. The faces we reveal slowly become more and more of our real inner selves – but it takes quite some time. Are there some people who still act, never fully revealing all facets of their inner self? Imagine how it is when two people split up. Divorce is a very real part of our world. And when this happens, then people reveal parts of themselves that they may not have before. Sadly, the deepest parts of our beings only come out when we are in crisis or conflict. Revealing our joys is simple. The rest is a problem for most people.
Should we reveal these parts of ourselves to those closest to us?
The answer is, of course we should! The truest, deepest love is only available and can happen when our full selves are revealed. A truly evolved person is able to be fair; not simply pushing for only for what is most profitable for herself. And that person is the one who is worthy of the greatest love!
But it’s truly difficult to do this. How can we reveal to a person how we would treat them if a relationship doesn’t work out, whether professional or personal? Well, there are clues in a person’s behaviour that tell us these things. The biggest teller is how a person behaves if there is a disagreement. Are you argumentative? Or are you someone who is able to calmly speak about issues and address these directly?
In business relations someone who is difficult will accuse, pointing fingers, rather than addressing the business issues at hand immediately. Of course, in business these issues have to be addressed or there is no relationship and the end will happen without any profit for anyone. And sometimes that ends in courtroom battles. And that is bad!
Personal relationships aren’t that different. If there is a disagreement, are you able to stick to the issues directly? Or do you end up bringing in issues that have passed, sometimes long ago? Do you raise your voice easily? Do you give in to anger quickly? When these things happen, they only sour relationships and make it difficult. If you find yourself doing these things, then you have to take a serious look at who you really are. Do you really want to be a difficult person? Or do you want to evolve to being a self aware, open, and loving human being?
It’s not always easy to control emotions and learn that kind of self love. And that is what it really is when one is able to keep control of anger and frustration, and to deal with disagreements in a manner that allows calmness, love, and an open mind, truly listening to someone else’s point of view. We can’t all be Mahatma Ghandi, but we can try to have some of that peaceful demeanour.
Vindictiveness is a horrible thing, and far too many people behave in that manner, especially when a potential loving partnership fails. And all too often it is the character flaw that allows such a thing as spite that causes relationships to fail. Are you someone who is easily capable of being vindictive and vengeful? Do you want true, deep love in your life? If so, then perhaps it’s time to examine that part of your character and evolve past it. There may be a reason that the bible says, “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” Perhaps it’s because revenge is something that a truly evolved human doesn’t need, and the belief that those who deserve such a horrible thing against them end up getting the worst in the next world. And for an evolved human, being an example and being the best in life is enough. And whether there is a next world or not doesn’t matter (at least in this context).
Now, an evolved human is able to not be vengeful. An evolved human is able to truly reveal her inner being, without fear, without worry. Because an evolved human is confident, happy, and understands what true love is, and is not afraid to go and obtain it.
The greatest difficulty in revealing one’s inner self is that there is often no way to truly do so. And sometimes people don’t really know themselves well enough to be honest about it. It takes a crisis to understand how one reacts in a crisis. And no-one ever wants to be faces with a crisis. All that we can do is try to be as open as we can. Be as honest with our loved ones and with ourselves as possible. And try to understand what true maturity is, regardless of chronological age, and react according to that.
And we will be able to reveal who we are… through our actions. For our deeds reveal who we truly are more than anything else.
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Self Growth